Ways To Cope and Find Support After Baby Loss
Coping with pregnancy loss involves allowing yourself the time and space to grieve but this can be a really difficult process. It’s okay to seek medical and emotional support.
Acknowledge your grief
Give yourself permission to feel your emotions. This can feel really tricky to navigate especially when you’re feeling lots of different emotions all at once. Grief, shock, guilt, emptiness, or even a sense of relief (after an unplanned pregnancy) are all valid responses. Avoid judging how you "should" feel.
Communicate with your partner
It’s hard to understand that your partner might be grieving differently to you but it’s very likely, especially if you’re the one that it’s physically happened to. Your journey of grief could look completely different to theirs, which could bring up complicated feelings such as resentment, anger, shock, sadness. I wonder at what opportunities you can be honest with your partner and let them know how you’re feeling? Perhaps a conversation could begin by asking them how they’re doing? It could ignite an opportunity to check in with each other and acknowledge how you’re both feeling.
Find ways to remember or release
Consider creating a physical keepsake like a memory box, writing in a journal, planting a tree or lighting a candle to honour your experience. Sometimes these can feel quite purposeful where you’re really carving the time to remember your baby. Other times they might not feel like ‘big’ gestures or moments, and they become a part of your everyday life. Walking through the park and noticing a bird or a butterfly and gently smiling to yourself remembering. Or looking up to the moon or stars, closing your eyes, breathing steadily and feeling your chest rise as you think of them. However you choose to remember or release, it’s okay and there is no right or wrong way, only your way.
Protect your energy
It’s okay to decline invitations to baby showers! And of course, (this isn’t the only thing) but generally, saying no to anyone or anything in order to protect your energy right now is your number one priority. You come first! You might not know or understand how to do this yet, it takes time to establish your boundaries and it’s okay for them to change over time too as you start to feel like you can cope with things better.
Professional help
If you experience continuous low mood, severe anxiety, sleep disturbances, or feel overwhelmed by daily life, contact your GP practice. Everyone’s experience of baby loss is different and it’s important that you reach out for further support if you feel like you need to. As a therapist who has experienced baby loss, I understand how it can feel and if you’d like to reach out to me to begin our therapeutic relationship, I can support you to better understand your needs. Please click the contact button below!
